I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
