Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
