almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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