who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
