You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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