Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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