he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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