You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
