I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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