Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize