Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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