seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize