so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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