chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
