DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my being single is dangerous.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
