Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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