Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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