you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
a search helicopter?!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
