I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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