yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
