Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
3pm strippers are depressing
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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