I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
