Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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