yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
