So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
