How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize