you guys were way drunker than both of me
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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