I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
