just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
