therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
