the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
