I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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