dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
