Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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