Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
