actually, I'm a sock model
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize