don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am mentally ready for anal.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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