on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Buhtt sex?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
