he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well I just put wine in my tea
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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