Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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