Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
