I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
COCAINE IS GR8
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
