Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
