well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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