she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
