is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
