Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
