sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
