Sry I called you an 8
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
