I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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