i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
