your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
