Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
