She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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