Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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