the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
