Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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