just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
