woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
