Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
