I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
