glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
