Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
